Navigating Big Emotions with Ayelet Ary

Bloomsbury Academy families recently gathered for a session led by Psychological Associate Ayelet Ary, a mental health professional under supervised practice. The session focused on one of the most rewarding yet challenging aspects of parenting: helping children understand and manage big emotions. Parents left with practical insights and strategies that deeply resonated with them, here are some of the highlights:

1. Big Feelings Are Normal

Preschoolers experience emotions in full colour because their prefrontal cortex, the brain’s regulation centre, is still developing. Meaning, their capacity to self-regulate simply isn’t there yet. Meltdowns over “the wrong sock” aren’t defiance, they’re neurological growing pains, and recognizing this helps parents respond with empathy rather than frustration.

2. Choice Equals Control

Toddlers spend their days being told what to do. Offering small, structured choices,  “Would you like the red shirt or the blue shirt?” help them feel a sense of agency. As Bloomsbury Academy teacher Brianne Cuthbert explained, “Offering children choices helps reduce power struggles by giving them a sense of control, while parents still guide the final outcome.”

3. Co-Regulation Starts with the Parent

When emotions run high, children borrow a sense of calm from the people around them. Ayelet referred to this as “co-regulation.” the practice of staying grounded ourselves so we can help our children return to balance. Taking a breath, lowering your tone, or even whispering can diffuse tension faster than raising your voice.

4. Integrate, Don’t Add

Parents lead busy lives – and that’s okay, you can build connection without adding extra activities to the calendar. Involve your children in everyday moments, narrate grocery trips, invite them to stir the pot, or let them hand you the can of beans. These small gestures create meaningful connection within daily routines without adding more to your plate.

5. Consistency Builds Security

Boundaries are love in action. Whether it’s saying “no” to another toy or insisting on a bedtime schedule staying consistent to the routine, creates predictability and safety. Routines help children begin to positively internalize an understanding that limits exist for their well-being, forming the foundation for self-discipline later in life.

This event was a reminder that parenting is both science and art, a balance of structure, empathy, and self-compassion. As Brianne summed up, “They’re not little adults, they’re little humans learning how to be in the world.”

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